Originally posted in my Facebook Notes on October 1, 2009.
So, I need to get this outta my head. It's my newest revelation. Something that I've kinda always known about myself but am just now confirming.
There's a movie that stars Julia Roberts and Richard Gere (No, not Pretty Woman but the other one) The Runaway Bride. This movie I can actually relate to somewhat. Here's why...I have been engaged 3 times. Married once. I've tried planning all of them. The wedding that is...and with each one my brain goes into a tailspin, a frenzy of fears. I thought it was mostly because I knew that each one of the men I was wearing the ring for was not "The One" (which was true) but not the full cause. It was also because I'm not that big wedding, humdinger of a reception, family and friends surrounding us, white poofy dress, dance all night long type. I was watching the movie Runaway Bride the other night and chatting with a very dear friend and we both started laughing. I realized at that moment that I have the potential to be a "Runaway Bride" I hate the whole concept of the 'Big Wedding' or even a small wedding.
After talking to my friend and laughing I finally realized that I'm a fast paced, take the plunge in the spur of the moment, heat of passion, jump head first w/out thinking type of chick. I want to believe that my other friend Kyle is right. (Yes, Kyle I'm beginning to think you might just be right on this next thing) That when you meet the one you're supposed to be with you'll know right away from the first time you look at them. Then I would like to believe that it's all in the kiss. That kiss that feels electric and heated, where fireworks and flames erupt and the world around you disappears. I've felt that way once before. That type of magnetic attraction. Fallen so far into love from day one that fear takes hold and every other emotion that goes along with love. Though I fell madly in love with him from day one and the kiss was everything wonderful that one person can feel, a kiss so good it should be against the law, I knew he was not "The One." He was my first real love though. But I do think that Kyle has it right. I'll know from day one when I actually meet him. That the man I'm supposed to be with is standing right there in front of me. But when it comes to marriage, for me it's gonna have to be as exciting as that first heated kiss. No plans. No audience. No big deal. The marriage for me is going to have to be something romantic, exciting, spur of the moment, middle of the night, in the middle the week, snowing outside, justice of the peace type of thing. The relationship will happen so fast that we'll shock people and maybe make some angry and maybe even have some people simply saying "oh well, that's just Mell for ya!" Honeymoon in the middle of the week, take the vows for family and friends after the first year. This is my ideal scenario. I'm not afraid to take the plunge into marriage. I'm afraid of the actual ceremony. I'm afraid of something big and showy. I think it's awesome if that's what people want and can handle but it's not for me. I'm not afraid to go plunging head first into something fast and crazy-like.
So, there's my new revelation. Even my mom agreed that she could see this being the way I end up being married someday. All this because my friend and I watched the Runaway Bride and started laughing. Good times with good friends and a good movie.
I believe that whether you wait years to get to know each other then marry or meet, fall madly in love and move quicker than the speed of light you can make the relationship/marriage work. No matter what type of relationship (slow and more traditional or modern and exciting) they take hard work and communication.
So, to anyone who thinks I'm cute and is considering asking me out (hahaha) be warned...I move fast! I am not a traditional type of chick! I am affectionate and can be somewhat aggressive as well and I'm also a very big hopeless romantic. Homemade gifts, cheesy dorky things, kissing and hugs are some of my favorite things and parts of who I am. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I don't believe in holding back. I'm blunt and to the point and I'll lay all my cards on the table from day one. I'm no longer into the whole game playing B.S. part of dating. I do want to be married someday (obviously, right? LOL) and I wouldn't mind 1 maybe 2 more kids someday as well. So, there you have it. Mell as a whole.
I like me and that's all that matters and thanks to a movie night last weekend I have finally figured out a few more details of the inner workings of my somewhat scary brain.
:-D
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