Why do men......

Stay in touch with every single girl they once dated??  I've dated enough men to notice a pattern.  Most of these men have remained friends with practically every ex-girlfriend or woman they have dated throughout their life.  Why??  Why must men continue to be friends with exes??  I'm baffled by this.  

I've been watching one of my friends...a very sweet guy...someone who is guilty of this odd type of relationship thingy.  He is literally friends with every single chick he has ever dated.  And now I'm watching him on Facebook every day as he continues to flirt and chat and tehehe with a girl that just dumped him and almost ruined his lifelong friendship with his best mate of like 15 years.  Seriously??  Is it some kind of 'I don't wanna let go" issue.  Is it psychological??  Cuz it makes absolutely no sense to me.  And yes, to those who may be thinking "Well chicks are guilty of this too."  I am fully aware that some chicks remain friends with exes but it still doesn't make it any easier to understand.  I dump a guy or break up with someone and that's it.  It's over.  Done.  No more.  I walk away and call it good.  I cry, get angry, go through the motions and emotions that follow a break up (watching chick flicks and crying into a box of tissues...think the new Reba Mcentire song 'Strange'...it's true to what most women do post-break-up)  But once it's over...it's over!!  The End!  I don't remain in contact.  I don't talk to them.  I don't IM them or keep them as friends on my social networking sites.  I just call it quits and after a few months stop thinking about them altogether.  I move on to new and greener grounds.  

So, why do men feel the need to hang on to the one's that got away if they have no real reason to?  If they have no kids and no ties to them financially...why hold on to them?  

Woops!  I got off track a bit.  I was talking about my friend.  Let's call him....K.  Now K is this sweet...somewhat annoying and lazy man but still sweet.  He's a good guy who in my opinion can do better than this evil horrible girl who broke up with him, broke his heart and tried to kill a 15 year friendship.  She was mean to him in plain site.  It was awful to watch.  But no one could do anything.  It was his battle.  So, she calls it off.  Is really mean to him.  He fell apart.  Saved the friendship.  And now he's right back to square one.  He remained friends with her.  A pattern he has.  Break up.  Fall apart.  Remain friends.  Bitch to friends about how he got burned but go and hang out with one of the exes the next night.  Makes no sense to me as I have previously stated.  Now, he's flirting with this wretched woman again.  She's digging her claws back in and he's falling for it.  He's flirting right back.  This is an example of sheer stupidity to me.  Why is it so hard to break up, fall apart, delete them off the friends list and move on with life?  Nothing says you have to remain mad at them.  Nothing says you have to be mean to them if you bump into them in public.  Nothing says that you can't be happy for them if they find someone new and you see them on the street.  Congratulate them for Christ's sake.  I don't care.  But is it really necessary to be friends with them and still hang out with them?? Ahhhh!!!  

I may never understand this topic.  I may never fully be able to grasp this strange ritual that a lot of men seem to have and worse...need!  It has made many relationships difficult for me.  I had one ex who spent more time with 4 of his exes than he did with me.  He had all these inside secrets and  stories that he would laugh and joke about with them while I'd be left sitting there confused and wondering what the Hell he saw in me if he was having loads more fun chilling with the exes.  He collects exes as though they are going out of style.  He had 9 exes on his friends list.  Most of which he hung out with regularly.  Did this bother me??  I'd be lying if I said it didn't.  It wasn't that I didn't trust him but it was more that I felt left out.  He had no time for me after a while.  I think I might be the one ex he is never going to be friends with.  It's not that I'm angry with him anymore.  I'm happy for him wherever he may be.  He was a good guy, but we were just too different.  But for me I don't need to collect my exes as though they are nic nacs or better yet trophies that need to be displayed upon a shelf as reminders of what once was and can never be again.  I know how to and need to let go when things are over.  To me the memories that were good can be collected and stored in a folder within my memory.  The bad memories get chucked.  And the men of my former dating life neatly set on the curb for some other woman to find and have as her own while I move on to someone else eventually too.  Exes just make things too complicated when trying to start life anew with someone else.  

But I kind of get the feeling that men collect exes and set them on that shelf  (the equivalent of a friends list on a social networking site) because they have more difficulty letting go than I ever thought possible.  Men claim to be strong and the tougher sex, but in the end they may actually be more emotionally unstable than women.  I mean there has to be some kind of psychological and emotional reason for men to cling to their past in the form of the female body, right?  Then again I could be wrong.  That's been known to happen.  Who knows.  

Well, anywho.  I'm going to end this ramble and rant on the many confusions of men.  As I've gotten older and listened to men and women alike griping over who is more complex.  Men say women.  Women say men.  I, personally believe more now than ever that we're equal in the confusions.  50/50 in complexity.  The topics of confusion may be different when it comes to men and women but the sexes are equally confusing.  Instead of arguing over this topic any further lets call a truce and accept that there is never going to be a full understanding of who, what, where, when and why things happen and why we do the things we do.  

Thanks for reading this...til next time.


~M~